i’d be lying if i said that at this point in my life i haven’t pondered the idea of being with someone whom i can imagine spending the rest of my life with. shoot, i was in the 5th grade when i imagined myself happily married to _________ with two kids who’s made up names elude me at the moment. my point is, love is nothing foreign to me. i’ve been loved and have loved, even if i didn’t know what it was at the time. was i in love in the 5th grade? most certainty not, but there were people in my life who i would have done anything they asked of me for the simple reason of it feeling right.

you wouldn’t be running from it in the first place if it wasn’t dark and scary but you have to come to terms with it. for some, you might not even know there is anything to come to terms with. for me, it was dealing with the fact that my dad was never really around. whenever i was asked about him i would say i didn’t care until one day i sat down and wrote a poem about him and all the hurt came gushing out. i realized that i had never spoken my truth out loud. i never claimed it as being real.

from an early age we are told, “do not steal,” “be kind,” and “do not lie.” the conviction weighs heavier as elementary aged children any time we found ourselves in a situation that tempted us to go against any of the three. in fact, when it came to honesty, we were so brutally honest that we said whatever came to mind, then were reprimanded later on about why it was mean to tell our teachers that their breath smelled. with age, the initial conviction begins to elude us as we start telling little “white lies” to get a day off from work or to preserve someone’s feelings.

the coming of spring usually means a few things: the end of many failed new year’s resolutions, it the gym is suddenly less packed and your favorite healthy snacks are no longer sold out. spring also means allergy season; for those who suffer from allergies it translates into the most annoying months of the year. most of your days will be spent buried into a tissue or running to a bathroom to put in eye drops. for those of us who don’t suffer, it translates into enjoying air from both nostrils... but let's not leave out the infamous spring cleaning!

“we all learn to be by imitation or indoctrination” a quote from the jackie hill perry herself in her poem, “what is a woman”. simply put, you are who you are today because of who someone else was yesterday. if i were to take a walk down memory lane and revisit those people who contributed to the christina you all see before you, i would return to you with the stories and lessons i picked up from all the great women in my life.

there is a timeless quote and negro spiritual written by the great philosophers, the wu-tang clan that goes: “cash rules everything around me, c.r.e.a.m., get the money, dollar dollar bill y’all.” it is an undeniable truth that money makes the world go ‘round. whether it be politics, business, sports or academia; the person with the deepest pockets has the largest voice and the most say in what is going to happen.

there is an african proverb that i stumbled upon some years ago that speaks to this issue without remorse. it states, “until the story of the hunt is told by the lion, the tale of the hunt will always glorify the hunter,” addressing the way in which africa’s history was swallowed up by imperialism and regurgitated little by little.

i am by no means a morning person but i have learned to make the best out of it. for years the morning has felt more like being dragged through cold mud than energized and ready to start my day.

as i write this, the curtains are closing on 2017. the stage lights are shutting off one by one, and everyone in the audience is putting on their jackets to exit the theatre. just outside, a new year awaits the embrace of those who have been dreaming and sowing seeds.

it's the season for gift giving and let's face it, at some point in time we've all searched the mall top to bottom without a clue as to what to get our friends, family and coworkers for the holidays. with our holiday gift guide, this year won't be a repeat of that. 

the fall holiday season is usually pretty exciting for all parties involved. no matter what you’re interested in there’s something to look forward to. thanksgiving is growing to be one of the more controversial holidays but it is still a time that calls for people to sit down together, look back and recognize what they’re truly thankful for.

when we're talking about self improvement, faith alone won't cut it. social psychologist, carl rogers, coined the term "self-actualization" to explain the meeting between two identities that we occupy in our lifetime. those two identities are the "actual self" and the "ideal self". 

i remember the first time i thought i was supposed to have my life together. i was a fifteen year old sophomore in high school; running track, acting in plays, getting grades that were up to par and overall pretty successful to the casual passerby. the problem lies right there, though. to myself i was far from successful.

in such a fast paced society, sometimes it becomes very overwhelming to focus on our health. we are working, some simultaneously getting their education, and others are even tasked with raising a family at the same time. with all of this on our plate, the question becomes, when do i have time to take care of me?

when we get to a place where our happiness is contingent upon people and things, we know that we are bound to run into trouble. the reason being is that we give an outside source the power to control what happens on the inside of us.

don’t run from the idea of being alone. remember that even in a room full of people you can still feel alone. it isn’t so much about being in the presence of a full room as much as it is about being full of your own presence.

i have never seen my mother cry. i hadn’t taken much notice of this until a few months ago when i was sitting at dinner with my close family and friends after graduation. everyone had just finished pouring a lot of positive energy, encouragement and well wishes on me and i had the floor to return my gratitude. as i looked down on my mother, the only thing that came to mind was the fact that i had never once seen her break down in tears.

a common saying from my culture comes to mind— “ah nuh every kin teet ah laff.” in translation, “not everyone who smiles with you or tells you they love you, really loves you”. while the phrase speaks to the wolves in sheep’s clothing, it also has as much precedents for the sheep who appear as wolves on their bad days. i have become close friends with people who many would deem as having RBF.

what if i were to tell you that unlocking that purpose lies in your commitment to you own authenticity—that the key to unlocking your maximum potential rests in your ability to say, this is me, take it or leave it.

you know that feeling of utter satisfaction you get in the pit of your stomach? the one that makes you want to lean back in a chair, drop your arms to your lap and whisper, “yes. that’s it!” they sneak up on us when we least expect them and rarely when we go searching for them. it’s the kind of feeling of being full when we did not even know we were in need of something. it falls on us and all of a sudden, things make sense.

The title you occupy right now might be artist, singer, poet, or dancer. But at the end of the day, your purpose might be to motivate, empower, and inspire. When you think of it that way, you expand yourself beyond a limited space. You bring your purpose to people who aren’t interested in your water colors or how well you can hit a high soprano. You stretch yourself to fit your purpose. You are no longer trying to chip away at yourself to squeeze into a mold.